A Splash of Hummer

Setting the scene
* George, Tammy, Arthur, Jemma, Ash and Charlotte are sitting around a table in form time after completing their charity Christmas boxes. When no other conversation topic arises the conversation turns to jokes ( I apologies if these offend anyone )

Jemma : How do you drown a blond ... Fix a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool !

George: Okay a blond a brunet and a red head all jump of a building ... Who hits the ground last ? ... The blond because she had to stop and ask for directions!

Charlotte , Noting that George said 'she' in the last one and taking offence ,being the feminist she is : Okay this ones abit sexist ... How dose a man screw in a light bulb ... Holds one up and waits for the world to revolve around him !
Connor, being the ultimate opposite to a feminist: No he does it properly * complete serious expression *

I'm sorry the cucumber one doesn't make sense in my head !

George (This is abit of a long one but go with it ) : Okay an Irish man an English man and a Scottish man all want to join the army so they go to their recruitment office. When they get there the commanding officer sends them on a assault course to see how well they do it. The Scottish man gets back first. 'Well done that's a great time of 14 minutes you’re in the army! ’Says the officer. Next the English man gets back”wow another great time you got 15 minutes, you’re in the army !' Says the officer. After 30 minutes of waiting the Irish man gets back. 'What took you so long' says the commanding officer. 'Well...' says the Irish man.  'When I got to the top of the wall my arm got ripped off on some barb wire so I had to climb down the wall get it and sew it back on.' ‘Wow! That's amazing,' says the officer. 'You’re exactly the type of man we need in the army! You’re in the army!'  Later in the day the recruiters were discussing the Irish mans triumph. The Scottish man says to the Irish man ‘it must have been amazing! * George holding one arm the right way up and one the wrong ,his thumbs pointing in opposite directions* Yh it was great !!!’
Jemma’s reaction was immense.